just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
