I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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