He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
