Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize