Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
