I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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