I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
there's paper in my vomit.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
