Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
