he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
