Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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