3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize