Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
