You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
