finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize