I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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