But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
