Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize