my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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