no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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