May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize