my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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