I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
