I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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