didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
