found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
