Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My balls are so social today.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
