she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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