God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
