You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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