Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Randomize
