I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
