I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
