did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
