Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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