Im at strip club and am horny
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
