Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Boobs speak an international language.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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