And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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