How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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