He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
