Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
