just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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