We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
