she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
