I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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