OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
