so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
