Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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