Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
