not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
