No stitches, just platelets and will power
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
