Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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