whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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