I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
