I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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