I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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