Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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