Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
