yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Never underestimate the power of titties
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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